On Snarkiness....

Diane and Layne stand in front of my desk, watching me before school starts. I get some lotion.

Me: "Yes, I have lotion. No, you can't have any."

Layne: "I don't like lotion."

Diane: "Yeah, when you put it on, everything sticks to your hands. Dust, glitter--"

Me: "Why would you routinely have glitter?"

Diane: "Um, Ms. Sefcik, glitter is, like, necessary."

Me: "Oh, my bad."

Layne: "Anyway, lotion is disgusting."

Diane: "Lotion is for old people with old gross crusty hands."

Layne: "Ms. Sefcik, if you live to be 100, I want to be 100 minus one day so that I don't have to live without you."

Diane: "No...wait."

Layne: "No--if you live to be 90, I want to be 91 so that I can live one year without you."

Me: (in Yoda voice) "Brilliant, you are."

Diane: "You're so weird."

Me: "Yeah..."