On Puns....

It's a new year! Hurrah! The students are back and we are already in the swing. To prepare for our upcoming reading of Julius Caesar, we have been studying puns along with the more traditional Shakespearean grammar/language lessons. For homework last night, I assigned them to write an original pun. The results, you ask? Pretty good.

The Popular Ones:
That vacuum really sucks. (2)

Cheap scissors just don't cut it. (2)

I had a carpentry test yesterday. I nailed it. (3)

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. (3)

The Ones that Don't Make Sense:
The fat lady ate lots of cow.

The comb brushed by.

A man was very hungry so a couple of guys gave him a sandwich. Then the world ended and they created the Hunger Games.

Animal Humor:
The rough bark hurt my ears.

The sad monkey has a very long tale.

The bear was annoyed by the bark.

Come here, deer.

The teacher fish told the bigger fish not to bait the smaller fish with their jokes.

What is the land that has a lot of fins? Finland.

That bear was unbearable making bad jokes.

What did the duck say to the Bartender? Put it on my bill.

The Aspiring:
I learned to knit my own gloves. It really came in handy.

A pilot that carries novels for an author was asked if there was any room on the plane, but he said, "No! We're booked!"

Reading while sun-bathing makes you well RED.

Eye see you.

"I see!" said the blind man, as he took out his hammer and saw.

The tree that's always jealous year-round is an evergreen.

I was reading a book about anti-gravity and I just couldn't seem to put it down.

Did you hear that new ground-breaking song? Yeah, I totally dig it.

Do you want to hear a macaroni joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.

Two plates were talking--one of them said "food's on me tonight."

What did the cereal say to the crazy tire? You're loopy.

I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but could not find the time.

Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body blown off? He's alright now.

The Truly Questionable...

I'm going to start sniffing glue; I hope I don't get stuck on it.