On the iPad cart...

Me: "Okay, we're working with the iPads today, but I need everyone to be really, really careful because Mr. Propper's class is using them and they need to go in the exact same slots on the cart. Oh! I know--I'll put sticky notes on each slot when you take them so that you know where to put them back."

(I proceed to painstakingly write out sticky notes for each iPad, hand them out one at a time, and organize all of the chargers on the cart)

(30 minutes later)

Me: "Oh my god! Who left this iPad on top of the cart? Whose is this?" (looking around--confused--because everyone seems to still have an iPad) "Someone put this here--who is missing an iPad?"

Layne: "It wasn't me."

Rich: "Well, I went to put mine back, but someone else's was already in my spot, so I put my first one back somewhere else."

Me: "What?!" 

Katie: "Well, Rich's was in my spot, so I moved his and put mine back, but then I needed another one, so I took one that was already on there."

Me: "Ok....so which one is this?"

Students: "............."

Me: "Did you people not notice that I was labeling all of these spots with your names? Didn't you think that was important?"

Post-it notes labeling student slots

Katie: "Ummm...."

Me: "Okay, just pay attention to where you're putting them."

Grace: "Ms. Sefcik? Can our essay be due after spring break? Pleeeeeease?"

Me: "Haha no."

Grace: "But we have soooooo many tests this weeeeeek."

Me: "You would NOT be happy if you had to write an essay over spring break. Trust me."

Carrie: "No, I promise, we would love you!"

Me: "If you guys would stop arguing with me about the due date and just write the essay, you would be halfway done already." 

Grace: "But Ms. Seffffciikkkkkkk, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--"

Me: "No! N-O!"

Grace: "--eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!"

Me: "Grace. It is two pages. Double-spaced."

Grace: "Yeah, but--"

Me: "And I gave you an outline that is LITERALLY a full page long. So all you have to do is write one extra page to fill in the outline."

Grace: (ponders for a moment) "But pleeeeeeeease!"

(meanwhile, in the front of the room)

 I killed one.

Me: "You okay there?"

Katie: "Ms. Sefcik, I can't think anymore. My brain hurts."

Me: "Eh, that just means it's on and working." 

(ten minutes later)

Tate: "Ms. Sefcik, look! We built a Fort of Knowledge!"

Me: "Is that really necessary?"

Tate: "Yes! I can only write my essay in the Fort of Knowledge."

Me: "Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!"

Tate: "huh?"

Katie: "What?"

Me: "Spamalot."

(stares)

Me: "No? No Spamalot fans? Okay, then."

Fort of Knowledge