Maggie: "Ew that's disgusting!"
Brandon: "Bacon. It's BAY-con. Everybody likes bacon!"
Me: "I want you to rewrite or revise your essay from this morning's exam."
Students: "No! WHAT?! But we just wrote it......And we don't want.....But we can't.....ARGHH......Nooooooooooooooowahpleeeeeeeeeeeease!"
Me: "Wow. That was...."
Kate: "But Ms. Sefcik, we wrote alllllll morning."
Me: "You wrote for 45 minutes."
James: "Okay. Ms. Sefcik, look at it this way."
Me: "Okay."
James: "....."
Me: "What?"
James: "Uh, that we don't want to write right now."
Nick: "I don't have my rough draft."
Me: "I know that. None of you have a rough draft. I'm asking you to write from memory of what you already did this morning."
Greg: "How am I supposed to remember that?"
Me: "Is your brain a spaghetti strainer? How do you not remember something you wrote four hours ago?"
Greg: "Uhhh."
Vicky: "How long does it have to be?"
Me: "Your essay tomorrow? It should be 2-2.5 pages."
Vicky: "No, what we're doing right now."
Me: "Don't worry about length, just start writing."
Vicky: "Gah."
Nick: "So....are we getting back our rough drafts?"
Me: "NO!"
(after more long, drawn out whining)
Me: "Attention. This is not an extra assignment. This is not a debate. I am not asking you if you want to write. I am telling you what we are doing in class today and this is it! Now, I want everyone to buckle down and write something and I don't want to hear any more whining!"
Adam: "Why are you staring at me?! I didn't do anything!"
Me: "I'm not staring at you. Okay, I was staring at you, but I just needed someone to look at. Ugh--"
Huck: "Look! She's trying not to laugh."
Me: "I am NOT amused. I'm just laughing because I'm so frustrated right now."
Zach: "Oh. Well, next time, can you give us some kind of warning when you're getting angry so that we know to stop?"
Me: (mouth drops) "Whaa? I just yelled at you!"
Students: "Hahaha."
Zach: "Just now?"
Me: "Yes, literally just now."
Zach: "That was your yelling?"
Me: "Yes, that was me being angry. Didn't anyone feel threatened and reprimanded?"
Katie: "Ummm, oh, yeah, that was great."
Layne: "She's so adorable."
Me: "Unbelievable."
Jack: "She said 'whorehouse' in history class today."
Me: "How is that relevant?"
Jessie: "Whorehouse? Is that the politically correct term?"
Me: "Hmm, maybe 'brothel' is more politically correct. I'm not sure."
Brian: "Hey, Ms. Sefcik, look at this!"
Me: "You broke my dictionary!"
Brian: "No, I swear!"
Kyle: "Haha, Andrew's probably looking up a word like 'octopus.'"
Holly: "That wasn't funny. Why did you say that?"
Brian: "Hey look--'bastard' doesn't mean a kid without a dad. It means an illegitimate child."
Me: "Well, that kind of means the same thing. Like a child whose parents weren't married or when the father has run off for some reason."
Beth: "Oh no! That's me! Is that bad?"
Me: (mentally: *&&$$^^) "Uh, no, of course not. And that word really isn't used like that anymore anyway. It originated in Medieval times like when the King had a child before he was married to the queen and the child usually lived in the castle with them anyway and words change and oh--like in King Lear with Edmund and Edgar but you don't know that example but I swear you shouldn't worry about it it really has no bearing on our lives today."
Beth: "But....it sounds bad."
Me: "Well, people use 'bastard' toward other people today in a bad way, but not with the same meaning that it used to have. Now it's more an insult without the fatherless connotation. There are other words like that, like...well
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