On SuperPowers....

Write: My super alter ego would be...


Mike: "Moolah Man. He shoots quarters from his gun and also whips people with his hundred dollar rope."
James: "Can I be McMuffin? I mean, McLovin?"
Me: "Sure, McMuffin."
Kyle: "No, Ms. Sefcik, it's McLovin. Did you ever see Superbad?"
Me: "Yeah, I know the--he just said...never mind. James, what's your superpower?"
James: "So, I have a fake ID and I go around buying stuff for underage people."
Huck: "Dude. That's not a superhero--that's a drug dealer."
Me: "Okay, moving on from the drug--"
James: "McDruggin! I'm McDruggin!"

Me: "Chris, that's not the assignment."
Chris: "Yes, it is."
Me: "Umm, what's your superpower?"
Chris: "Rebirth."
Me: "haha."
Nick: "What did he write?"
Me: "Read what you wrote so far."
Chris: "I am a Christian and I worship God and Jesus."
Kate: "What did he say?"
Gloria: "He's a Christian."
Kate: "What's his superpower?"
Chris: "My superpower would be rebirth, so I could chase bad guys and I could get shot and then I'd come bak to life, like, after a day."
(pause)
Kate: "You'd come to life after a day?"
Chris: "Yeah."
Kate: "What about the bad guys you were chasing? You'd never catch any bad guys?"
Chris: "Oh. Uh, maybe we should make that like 20 seconds. And my name would be 'Jesus' but pronounced HAY-Zeus. You know, like Jesus. But the Spanish version."

Me: "Ok, Peter, what's your superpower?"
Peter: "I'm C-man. GAH!"
All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
George: "Mr. Semen?"
Peter: "Oh man, I didn't notice that before."
Huck: "Hahaha, never fear, Semen is here!"
Peter: "I'm C-man for Communism--I mean Comedy! I make people laugh and confuse them and then I punch them in the nose and spray them with Gorilla glue."
Victor: (under his breath) "Are you sure it's Gorilla--"
Me: "OKAY. I think we all realize now the many perils that must be considered when creating and naming a superhero."

Jazz: "Can we be you? Like, our superpower is assigning essays?"
Me: "Is that all I can do? My superpower has to be handing out essays?"
Holly: "Haha, the Stephatron!"
Jazz: "9,000 more essays!"
Holly: "She beats children."
Kate: "She uses the essays to give people paper cuts."
Me: "Owww, that's nasty. You guys make me sound like some horribly abusive person."
Students: "....."
Me: "Just don't share these stories."

Tate: "Shhhhh."
Joe: "Stop shooing me."
Tate: "It's shushing, not shooing."
Joe: "It's shhhhhh-ooing."
Tate: "That's.....just not right."

Brandon: "My superhero alter ago would be Stefanotron, where he turns into a homosexual and gives people fashion advice."

Layne: "My name would be SefcikHater and I would crush Ms. Sefcik's dreams so that she couldn't give us any more work. And I would burn all of the Harry Potter books. And J.K. Rowling, so that she couldn't write any more."
Me: "Wow. That's...harsh."
Layne: "Life is hard, Ms. Sefcik."

Me: "Andy, what about you?"
Andy: (holds up his paper) "I'm Blank Paper Bob. I make papers blank, like this one."
Me: "Hahaha. Touche."

Blake: "I'm Danny the Dingo."
Me: "And your superpower?"
Blake: "Um, I don't really know what dingos do."
Harris: "I thought a dingo was a kangaroo."
Blake: "No, stupid, a kangaroo is a kangaroo."