On the First Day Back....

Maggie: "Are you going to try not to be sick this week, Ms. Sefcik?"

Me: "I wasn't sick last week. I told you I was going to a conference in Las Vegas."

Maggie: "Uh huh, yeah, well just try not to be sick anymore."

Me: "....."




Greg: "When are our outlines due?"

Me: "It says right here--see? Thursday the 29th."

Greg: "When is that?"

Me: "This Thursday. The 29th."

Greg: "WHAT?!!!!"

Me: "Greg, you've had this assignment sheet for two weeks. It's just an outline."

Brad: "What's an outline, again?"

Me: "You know what an outline is."

Brad: "Ummm."

Me: "You guys. Tell me you know what an outline is."

Molly: "Um. Kind of."

Chris: "Not really."

Kate: "Isn't that where you write the paragraphs, but, like, they're not really paragraphs?"

Me: (mouth hanging open) "....."

Librarian: (looking at me and feeling the need to intervene) "Do you want me to give a five-minute lesson on outlines?"

Me: (snapping out of it) "Yes, that would be lovely."





Jack: "Ms. Sefcik?"

Me: "Yes?" (I turn to find that Jack has pulled both of his arms inside his shirt, leaving his sleeve holes sticking straight out and empty)

Jack: "I have an excuse. I can't type. And I can't eat, so I'm really hungry."

Me: "That's terrible."

Jack: "Also, my nub-holes are really cold."