On Vocab Quizzes....

On Vocab Quiz Day: 

Me: "Okay, things are going to change around here. Since you all are determined to act like first-graders, I'm going to treat you like first-graders." (I hold up a small stack of post-it notes) "These are post-it notes. If you misbehave in class, I will write your name on a post-it note and stick it on my calendar. If you get your name on a post-it, you have lunch duty. If you get two post-its in a week, you have silent lunch. If you get three, you have two hours (demerits)."

James: "Wait! What gets us on a post-it note?"

Me: "Great question--if, for example, you find yourself lying, crawling, or sprawling on the floor in the middle of class, your name will go on a post-it note. If you launch a projectile across the room, your name will go on a post-it note. If you happen to blurt out a stream of consciousness in a Tourette's-like outburst, expect to see your name on a post-it."

Student: "What?"

Me: "Just do what you're supposed to do and you'll be fine. Get out a sheet of paper and a pen or pencil."

(flurry of activity)

Rachel: "Wait! What is this?" (looks around in panic and confusion)

Me: (sitting at the front with my vocab book, I pick up a pen and mark which words will be the context words)

Rachel: (staring at me in panic) "Am I going on the post-it note? Don't tell my mom!"

Me: "This is your vocab quiz. I could tell your mother, I suppose, but I'm not sure it will do you any good right now."

Daniel: "Where are my note cards?"

Me: "Daniel. We're starting the quiz. You don't need your note cards. Okay, #1--Assurance......#2--Asylum......#3--Console.......#4--Dilate....."

(Kate shoots her hand into the air)

Me: "Kate?"

Kate: "Can you repeat #5?"

Me: "I haven't said #5 yet."

Jack: "You know in a spelling bee? Why is it called a spelling bee?"

Hannah: "Yeah, and why do you get a 'ding' if it's incorrect? Should a 'ding' be, like, for correct answers?"

Me: "Are you serious right now? We are taking this quiz and no amount of tomfoolery is going to stop us! #5--Dross...."

Kate: "Can you repeat it?"

Jack: "Yeah, can you spell it?"

Me: "Okay. NOW you're on a post-it note."

Kate/Jack: "OOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrgghhhsnnnn."

And later, while grading: